Phoebe...

When I read this story, around 11 years ago, I'm not sure I understood it. I'm still not quite sure If I have it right. But this is my interpretation of the catcher in the rye part of the book. Holden starts off the whole book seeming as If he doesn't care about anything. You slowly begin to realize he cares a lot. He's seriously depressed, suicidal even, and screaming for help. He's looking for ANYONE to talk to. At first he rejects almost everyone, claiming they are phony even though he keeps thinking about how lonely he is. As the book progresses, though, each interaction becomes a little more desperate until he's coming right out and saying "Have just one more drink. Please, I'm lonely as hell. No kidding." But the problem is, up until that point, he was avoiding anyone who really might have cared about him (ie Phoebe, Jane, his parents). So each interaction left him feeling more lonely and more depressed. He's wet, he's freezing, he's contemplating his death when he thinks of Phoebe, his sweet little sister whom he adores. So, he sneaks into his house to see her. They start talking about him getting kicked out of school, about how he hates everything. He's angry with her for saying that, insisting it wasn't true. But when she asks him to tell her something that brings him joy, he has nothing of real consequence to give. This innocent little girl, honest to a fault, as far from phony as possible, forces Holden to see himself the way he is. She loves him anyway. His old teacher, Mr. Antolini had warned him that he was heading towards a very dangerous fall. A fall that was designed for men who were looking for something they believed their own environment couldn't give them, so they gave up looking. Holden wanted sincerity, honesty, innocence. He found it in Phoebe. He wanted to save the children playing in the rye from falling off the very ridge he was teetering on because he felt he was a lost cause. But while watching Phoebe on the carousel, Holden has a sudden feeling of joy that he'd never felt before because of her. Phoebe is the real catcher in the rye, not Holden. She saved him from the fall Mr. Antolini warned about. I never ever picked up on Phoebe's importance to the story when I was a teenager, now I realize she IS the story.

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